Sunday, October 11, 2009

My Dearest Siblings







My dearest siblings
I’m getting married
And it scares me
Now childhood days must be buried

My dearest Areej, my older sister and incredibly wise
Wallahi I write this as tears roll from my eyes
I can never forget your advices from school, dealing with parents, Islam and even guys
You were always real, never had a disguise
When I come to your room in tears, you would tell me to raise my hands to the skies
I was blessed with many things in this dunya
And you amongst them, was of the biggest prize

Memories together I can never forget
Remember the Back Street Boys and that awful threat
Remember the rice falling in Sudan, when really the ground was just wet
Me and you, its memories galore
The only thing I regret, is not having more
Forgive me if I ever wronged you
Forgive me for the things I did and things I couldn’t do
Forgive me
Because by Allah, I forgive you

My dearest Mohamed, our oldest brother
Back in the days, we used to play Nintendo’s with one another
In grade three we were in the same class, do you remember?
You were so hyper, even at home
From January to December
As a child, you as MY brother made me feel cool
When people tried to mess with me,
I would say, “Do you know who my brother is you fool?”

I think it’s too bad we didn’t live with each other more
You’re fun to be around and always have us laughing on the floor
It might be too late now to live together anymore
But, by Allah, my heart is open for you, as much as my door
Please, don’t be a stranger, stop pressing ignore
You have a family that loves you
And please, forgive me for anything I did to hurt you
Forgive me for not being your sister, cool and true
And for everything you did and didn’t do
I truly forgive you

My dearest Nafesa, our youngest sister, so sweet
As a child, you made me jealous, so when it was raining hard one day
I held you up in the air and stood on the street
At first you were so quiet and shared nothing with me
Then we started BABU and you opened up beautifully
I remember your problem looking into eyes when you speak
But now you handled that technique
Your hugs still needs some working though
Your dancing simply needs to go
Your relationship with Mustafa, I pray it always grows

Our memories together, has been quite the ride
I love having you as my younger sister
We shared everything, had nothing to hide
We did so much together; canoeing, learning the Deen and weird things on the side
Remember, you have more work with mother inside
And please, forgive me for hurting you
For anything I did and didn’t do
For not being there when I should have and not staying true
And by Allah (SWT), for everything, I forgive you

My dearest Mustafa, my younger brother with talent galore
When you were young I was in your face like never before
I remember crying to you in grade three, to be the best person you can be
Until grade eight, we sat and spoke until late
From writing poetry together, to sitting outside
Mustafa, you grew to be this amazing man and I feel comfortable in whatever you decide
Never forget that in me you can always confide
Psst I think I was the closest to you
I love who you have become and what you do

Memories together has been quite the fun
From car racing, hanging with Ali, going to weddings and just chilling under the sun
From trying to play ball or have a race on the street
Don’t forget, in the race, you once got beat
From singing, writing poetry and listening to my annoying voice
Never forget, be a believer or not, you always have that choice
And please, forgive me for anything I did to wrong or hurt you
From the things I did to things I couldn’t do
And by Allah, for everything, I forgive you

My dearest Yassir, my youngest brother, so smart
Age 6, you can’t read but you definitely can fart
Every time you laugh really hard, we sniff and know who dealt the part
I think you are a very cool brother and have such a sweet heart
We had some fun times with Adam and learned a lot
From learning to ride bikes and learning surahs
And from the many things you bought
From writing me the letter to not hit you because it hurt
To showing me your love of skateboards, even on your shirt
I love you Yassir, and please forgive me
And know, by the will of Allah, I’m always here for you

My dearest siblings
Areej, Mohamed, Nafesa, Mustafa and Yassir
I love you all for the sake of the Most High
I see my parents relationship with their siblings now
And I want ours to be better as years go by
For every celebration, you better be the first to call
For every news, we better be the first to tell each other, no matter how big or small
We went our separate ways I know
But just because we had to grow
Does not mean our relationship has to go

My dearest siblings
I’m getting married
Make duaa for me
And please, let’s not forget each other
From our sister in Saudi
To the one in Hamilton, our beloved brother

Let’s make duaa for one another
So that Allah may gather us in jannah together
With our beloved father and mother
Let’s not forget each other

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Many Hearts


Looked into many hearts
Too many starts
Too many torn parts

Heart aches at requests
Is it what I possess?
Or do they just obsess?
Why so easy for them to express?
Can’t feel emotions, I don’t possess

But then they detail
Emotions, Men appearing so frail
My heart locked in a veil
Trying to feel it back, but to no avail
If love was a class, I would fail
They say love will prevail
With me, it’s growing stale
On sale

Cheap and almost fake
As if it was a mistake
Even when I tried to partake
Do it for His sake
Then when I wake
I realize I can’t take
What I did not make
Through my personal feelings and thoughts
Eventually it will break
I give back hearts and watch them shake
Breaking into pieces, a heart quake

But you seem so real
Is this how it’s supposed to feel?
The emotion many spoke of with so much appeal
To me, seeming so unreal
So surreal
But you’re real
Ideal
I was hoping these emotions I could conceal
Put it in a container and a closed seal
Whenever hurting moments come, use it to heal

You confess emotions and they’re so sincere
Where those emotions once drove fear
Yours to my heart were dear
And so hear
If you’re not here
That’s the reason I tear
That’s the real fear

Looked into many hearts
Too many starts
Too many torn parts

I fear

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Speechless


Speechless
Dressed in words
Moving in sentences
Smiling with punctuations
Emotions defining my grammar
Using words like a hammer
To punch in glamour
Oxymoron

Dictations
To make the ramification of action through conjugation
For the indication of a situation, made under implication of
Lingo
Words
Speech
That comes to define me

As I dress myself in words
Move in sentences
Smile with punctuations
Emotions defining my sense of grammar
As I try to hammer
Through pain, hurt and ignorance
Glamour

They think they know me
They question my actions
Before they ask me my intentions
They laugh before I joke
They answer before I ask
They stand before I rise
They run before I get up
They sit before I rest

And through their rumors making me feel like an ox
As I try to fix things and later end up the moron
Patients with anger
Hating with love
Smiling with tears
Screaming in whispers
I feel like an oxymoron

As I try to do things for Allah and no other
I have rumors surrounding me
From my own sister, to my own brother
Sometimes I think I should not bother

Give up?
They tell me I am not perfect
As if somehow my own reflection is trying to fool me
And so through their words, assumptions, lies, rumours, they want to school me
Do they think I look at myself in perfection and thus it would sooth me?
Do they think I don’t question my action and thus it wouldn’t worry me?

Give up?
They are in awe that someone with problems wants to aid others
Even though not liked by some sisters
And definitely by most brothers
They are in awe that someone so far from perfection can even have such an ideal image as her goal
And so dignity they stole, respect they implore and authority they abhor

Give up?
They watch me hard, waiting for me to slip up
And if I don’t, through rumors got me trippin’ up

So, do I give up?
Thoughts circle my mind
Sometimes in shame, sadness and anger
Other times in disappointment, fatigue and hurt
Sometimes my own thought is a stranger
Lurking inside me, before I can grab hold and rationalize
So I stare into eyes, full of lies and disguise truth and watch the demise
Of intentions built with tawakul and love for a Lord So Great
As we work to have youth love the mu2minuns fate

Give up?
I try to step into lives of women so beautiful
Working to be perfect worshipers, they were so dutiful
With patience, love and tawakul they were so wonderful
As they triumphed through rumors, castigation, threats and pain, they were so faithful
From Mariam Um Isa, to Asiya wife of Phur’on, to Aisha bint Abubaker
Give up?
They didn’t, so why should I?
I know rumours, wrong choice of words
Make me cry

But give up?
Why should I?
Serve the deen of the Most High
Until I die
I might not be perfect
Might not have the intellect

As I dress myself in words
Move in sentences
Smile with punctuations
Emotions defining my sense of grammar
As I try to hammer
Glamour
Lies, deceit, reminiscing defeat
Rumors, unfound hate
Criticize before one can appreciate

As I dress myself in words and ask for guidance from the Most High
Move in sentences and make duaa as tears form in my eyes
Smile in punctuations and pray the shahada leaves my lips before I die
Emotions defining my sense of grammar and imagine relief come by
In the form of Jannah and the pleasure of the Most Merciful
As I pray to be, beautiful, wonderful, dutiful and faithful
And never give up
InshaAllah

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Imaginary Love


Even if you’re not real
Not meant to be the deal, where you reveal the private seal of loving...me
Just the fact that I have something to look forward to
Is that hope I will love through and through

Even if the thoughts of you are a joke
I will hold on to moments, where unspoken words in my head were spoken
Where my love rode high on oceans and was the most expensive token
And as I hold your hand and looked deeply at you
That is enough for me to love through and through

Even if the ideas of you are fake
I will caress the days where I can take you heart with mine and glide them gently on a lake
Watch ripples of love form for Allah(SWT)’s sake and as I partake on this lake of a mistake i have yet to make.
My heart feels so awake, with you
That is enough for me to love, through and through

Even if you are not meant to be mine
I will reminisce every second in my mind, where I thought I did find... true love that entangled in a sweet vine, where the sigh of my breath spelled out love’s sign
Where in walking, peaceful clouds I did combine.. .holding your heart next to mine... as i tried to hold on to time... like this rhyme
And my heart did smile at you
That is enough for me to love, through and through

Even if you are a figment of my imagination
Where adoration met with admiration, fought follicles of isolation and ran towards temptation
Where emotions were my heart’s decoration and I stood alone in desperation, hoping all along i was running to my destination
But I stood in realization, oblivious to the situation, because love was never the situation, nor was it a creation or formation... it was just an inspiration and a fantasy made by my determination.. love alone became an infatuation and required further interpretation, investigation
Here I write an invitation, for a heart ready to love more than just an imagination.. ready for love to be my inspiration, ready for love to be my life’s celebration
Ready to feel every cell in my body, breath breaths of love’s relaxation
With you
With you
So that I can love
Through and through

Friday, April 24, 2009

The Fight

Where Wrong meets Right
Where Right could not stand the fight
Around a battle where Wrong had all the armory
Lies shined on her knuckles, ready to punch the truth out of anything
Ignorance wrapped around her head, with arrogance as the dominant color
Impatience placed perfectly on her feet, ready to stand when she should take a seat

Right left the fight disappointed
Her friends reality, truth and manners got her re-appointed
She was suppose to show wrong what’s Right
Show Wrong why she should end the fight

But Wrong was headstrong
She knew she did not belong
Though she kept the battle like an ongoing song
Where the melodies were false
The tunes were in vain
Where truth was fought and injured with unbelievable pain
The sight of Right even in the middle of the night during the awful fight
Can drive the most logical of man insane
How can something so Wrong, be with Right on the same plain?

Oh Wrong was ready for the fight with Right
The fight she would fight with all her might
But wrong, she wasn’t strong
She saw something while in the fight with right
When her lies hit the truth she tried to get by her sight
She was so close to see right
But what scared her, was the light
The light that shined so bright from Right made her quiver and think of taking a flight

But she continued the fight
Wrong was not giving up to right
Just because she was right
Screw that, she can make the most ugliest things look right
Like the time she knew Hijab was Right, she fought and hijab was no longer in sight
It was funny at first because those somehow made her lose a portion of her light

How strong though
Is wrong
That’s not the real question
How strong is right
That’s not the real question
How bright is your light
To combat the fight
That happens in your heart, mind and soul…. Practically every day and night
How bright is your light
How strong is your Right

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Heart Broke


Today my heart broke
At first I laughed
Amused at the thought
Bewildered at the joke
How can sincerity result in this heart stroke?
My emotions became this unbearable smoke
My words and thoughts made me choke
My heart’s verses of love no longer spoke

Through this broken heart I did create
Unable to read the signs
Where reality and dream never did conjugate
I awaited his undying claim to my name
To my revitalizing fame of a dazzling dame
I was to be his aim, igniting his heart’s flame
See, although this never did happen with him and I
I did not let my heart cry
Nor my thoughts die
Nor moments surface into just what he meant
It was deeper
See, I did not blame his not coming into reality of my reality of dreams
I did not blame him for his inability to feel what I feel
I was the one being real
He was just blinded by people and women who spoke the speech
Sang the song
I was just real
I was the real deal
His satisfying love meal
I did not blame him

Then my heart broke
My walk lost its steady gait
My dreams no longer wrote my fate
Sincere thoughts, wishes and prayers
Would not, as thought, deduce my soul mate

My thoughts were an array of confusion
I still thought of us as one
Holding on to the unshaken illusion
As we walked in my perfect delusion
Of lust, love, infatuation
I locked my own heart, barricaded it to seclusion
Secluded anyone that might proclaim their love for me
Because I was constructing the thought of my happily
Secluded it to any moment that might show he felt for me otherwise
I took those moments and dressed it up in a disguise
Of true love for me, where I created the truthful lies
And made his love rise
And again, when reality came to demise my tries of my love’s guise
I would revise, raise my hands to the skies
Hoping that it is not indeed my lies
Even through the broken heart
My heart held on to its once romantic conclusion
Through this remarkably constructed illusion
And my heart… in it’s seclusion

Holding on with every vein
Blinded to the beating heart’s pain
I wrote my own love letters
Drank two cups of halal champagne

Today, my heart broke
Still seems like a joke
I’m trying to listen to my heart
It’s once lust, love, infatuation was a riot
But now it’s quiet
Silenced by the thought of never
Ever
The thought of never, forever

I still hear it beating though
Quiet, relenting, soft, and slow
Almost like it’s taking in the moment of this blow
Of what it did already know
The equation of him and I that would never occur like so
See, I was suppose to run in a field of roses
Into his arms of utter love for me

Him I do not blame
My heart was not used as a game
It was just regarded as the same
As any other lady that did claim, their undying love for him
Why was that an even harder pain?

Dear heart
Of mine
Do not fall apart
Things will be fine
Allah(SWT) has already ordained it all
This is where we were ordained to fall
And call
Upon the one who has written it all
Perhaps, if our call is as sincere as the feelings that proceeded such a blow
I believe
I know
Allah(SWT) will help us use this moment to grow
I believe
I know

Today, my heart spoke

After a deep slumber of pain
It awoke
“I believe, I know”
It said softly
And I felt tranquility flow
“I believe, I know”

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Your Sister



Have you ever watched your heart break?
As the passion shatters into indifference
As the hope dies in disappointment
As the love chokes in hate


You watch your heart cry
Wonder why people don't see the real intentions
Not meaning to secretly please those that can never be pleased
Always looking for faults
Doubting sincerity
Doubting sincere in thee

Secretly,
I was afraid about my intentions
What if they were never sincere?
Or real
Or meaning to please the One

Yet it is the doubt in others that breaks my heart
Perhaps the words I uttered were mistaken
Somehow taken
To be fake in
The sake in
I tried to create it in

I can't help looking into the eyes of
The one who assumes
That I wanted to lead another into sin,
Unholy the touch of a woman

Yet I never wanted to touch you
Never did the thought cross my mind
I was born with a body that differentiated me
A voice that distinguished me
A laugh that brightened me
All making me
A woman

Yet, sorry
I never wanted to touch you
Not with my hand
Or heart
Or mind

But yes I am a woman
A Muslim woman
You call me sister
I laugh
I laugh so hard
You would never treat a sister like this

Doubting
Assuming
I want to lead you to a darkness I dread
You're not the only one waiting to meet your lord when you're dead
I assure you I don't use my body
I utilize my head

But yes I am a woman
You call me your sister
Yet you treat me like a disease
Like somehow I have the power to change you
To lead you to self destruction
Where you will be in doom

I never wanted to touch you
I still don't
Never will
Because,
That's not what every woman wants to do to a man
And certainly, not a man of your nature

Assuming
Hating
Misunderstanding the intentions that were built
In a warmth of duaa
In the tranquility of prayer
In the wealth of tears
I never wanted to touch you

Did you ever see your heart break?
As the passion shatters into indifference
As the hope dies in disappointment
As the love chokes in hate

I did

Sunday, August 26, 2007

O Brothers, Where art thoe?

They say
There are lots of fishes in the sea

They forget to say
That those fishes are an anomaly

They say
They are around us everyday

They forget to say
They are of no help in many ways

They say
Do not judge the whole by the few

They forget to say
The whole has yet to get a clue

They say
With sincere duaa to Allah(SWT) they will appear

They forget to say
That it is with patience the ummah will persevere

That even with the lack of men
the haqq is our frontier
If they forget to stand up today
Tomorrow they will tear
Because it is our ummah calling for help
It is not a call to volunteer

They say
Leave it for the perfect day

They forget to say
That our sisters are in dismay

The weight on their shoulders heavier everyday
As they wait for real men to take some of it away
To move from the disarray

They say
Be quiet and let things be

They forget to say
That the ummah is one and brothers are key

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Closed

I closed my eyes
I found myself unable to see
And I was afraid

I closed my heart
I found myself unable to feel
And I was inexistent

I closed my mind
I found myself unable to think
And I was a prisoner

I closed many things
I found myself unable to breath
I was afraid
I was inexistent
I was a prisoner
Of my own doing

Saturday, August 18, 2007

See Their Tears?



Many people see tears
And they watch it fall
It symbolizes the ongoing strife and pain
Amidst the tears, they raise their hands and start to call

Many people see tears
And they watch it fall
It symbolizes the lack of balance
Amidst the tears, they wonder why the ummah stalls

Many people see tears
And they watch it fall
It symbolizes what YOU have done
Amidst their tears, if YOU have done anything at all

Sunday, April 01, 2007

What You Have Done

You have divided nations
Limited love
Eradicated equality

You have fought difference
Specified beauty
Gave birth to pride

You have killed hearts
Scarred lives
Ripped people of intelligence

O Racism

But for this one thing
I cannot forgive you
You have entered the minds of Muslims

O Racism, Why?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

To My Mother



Dearest tears that plague the heart
In my eyes
You soon depart
Soothing the soul
Unbreaking the heart

Dearest tears that plague the heart
Show her from the very start
The calmness of tears before they depart
And sooth her soul
And unbreak her heart
Dearest tears
That plague the heart

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Our Overdue


On behalf of the msa, the youth around the GTA
On behalf of the brothers, the sisters and the pakistani mothers
On behalf of the events you put together, during sunshine, rain and every weather

We extend this gift that you know you will get
But in attempt to awe you with words, as you did to us all with no sweat

Words are never enough to show appreciation
For being so much more than just our foundation
For somehow making the young and old look at you as an inspiration
Taking us aback with your heartfelt invitations
For seeing the good in everyone, without any hesitations

JazakaAllahu khair for being all that and more to us
For helping us plant numerous seeds of success
For showing us that only Allah(SWT) you want to impress
For always finding the right words to whomever you want to address

And so this gift we formally and CORDIALLY extend to you
For those weeks, days and numerous nights you dedicated to the crew
May the pleasure of Allah(SWT) you continue to pursue
Even with sarcastic MVPs backing out on you

JazakaAllahu khair our one man show
For raising a mountain out of a plateau
For dedication, determination and help you're always ready to bestow
May your reward with Allah(SWT) continue to grow

And so from the MSA, that you are molding with your hands
By the will of Allah(SWT) and His(SWT)'s plans
From the msa and nonmsa groups and the numerous fans
The gift is 50% off the almaghrib class, which is in high demands

For everyone you have thought of extending this gift to
We sincerely do not know who else deserves it more than you
And although this note of appreciation and gift is overdue
Remember, Allah(SWT) rewards the whole while through

And so, from your one and only MSA
From what you've turned into a bouqet
And making it something we're not ashamed to display
We look forward to many more days
As Allah(SWT) you continue to obey
And for the msa you persistantly pray

JazakaAllahu khair in every way

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Missing You


I sit here reminiscing on moments we spent
Every place we go, the ghettos we represent
Every time you think Tara, you bust the Caucasian accent
Every time you were misunderstood, you tell us what you really meant

Now those moments ly in my head
Furnishing the past with a memorable thread
Starting from where we met, ending at the last thing you said
Hence our past still remains, never to be dead

I remember

How you always had my back
Even if I sounded completely whack
Although you would tell me I need a smack
Especially with dumb jokes I try to crack

I remember

The events we would attempt to plan
How you were always my "right hand woMAN"
There when every event began
Even as awkward as the event with Carry-Ann

I remember

When you and I are the only ones laughing on the floor
Samar, Eman, Zainab not understanding us any less or more
Especially as we busted ebonics like we never did before
We were the ghetto sisters galore

I remember

When we danced at the Dinner African style
And your brother rapped, making our event worthwhile
And the ghanian sisters danced on the aisle
And other sisters stared with awe-stricken smile

I remember

The first time you came to my place
My mother’s adopted daughter can never be replaced
That's when true sisterhood we embraced
From then on moments together can never be erased

I remember

So much more, that brings tears to my eyes
How much it hurt to say our goodbyes
The further you left, the more what we had dies
Cannot say what we had will remain, those are complete lies

However your choice was incredibly wise
Because you raised your hands to the skies
Making duaa with tears rolling from your eyes
Not forgetting your friends and asking us to advise

And so I end once more with this

I pray that the best day of your life begins everyday
That feeling loved and admired continues to stay
That you realize how you are like a bouquet
With so much to offer in every way

Just remember

Of all sisters
I don’t know who will miss you more than I
Because just the thought that you left, would make me cry
And although you said this is not goodbye
It sure is not hello, that already passed us by

But like I wrote in the card to you
The best day of your life happens to be mine too
Because your happiness means the whole world through
And for the sake of Allah(SWT), I truly love you



Your sister,
HC

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

I Did It


I said goodbye
To a rose yet to blossom
To a time yet to come
To a place yet to appear
I said goodbye
To tears yet to fall
To laughter yet to be heard
To excitement yet to be felt
I said goodbye
To a life I have yet to live
To love I have yet to feel
To calmness I have yet to experience
I said hello
To the life I already live


Hasbeyulahu la-ilaha ila lah, aleyhi tawakalt wa huwa rab al'arsh al'azeem (X7)

Thursday, September 28, 2006

Goodbye


*Very corny poem, but I had to think of something fast*
For the first time in years
Happiness defines these tears
Remembrance of Allah fills my ears
Lies of love destroy my fears

For the first time in a few months or so
My words gave a brother a pretty tough blow
I told myself I wouldn’t stoop so low
I redefined love and went against the flow

For the first time in weeks
My heart speaks
Saying nothing in this dunya really reeks
As long as with taqwa in Allah(SWT) tears fall down your cheeks
For a true Mu2min their Lord’s pleasure they seek

For the first time in days
My heart, to Allah (SWT), silently prays
“Qadr Allah wa ma sha’a fa’al” seems to be the best phrase
My status before Allah(SWT) I work to raise

For the first time in hours
Birds sang from towers
I was able to see the beauty of real flowers
Realized the problem of the ummah is ours
And that before Allah(SWT) there are no other powers

For the first time I can breath again
Dismissing that unbelievable pain
Of being lied to and having one’s heart slain
Of having to walk in a thunderstorm and rain

Not for the first time…
I miss brother H so much more
I pray that he was there like before
Helping my iman somehow soar
As we beautifully built rapport
And he tells me things I would forever adore
Talk about amazing
Now he was a score

By...
Sensible_Muslimah

Repenting_Muslim
"sis scholars say when the heart speaks
its Hearts that listen
when tongues speak…
its ears that listen
"

Is it healthy to miss you so much?
After every jerk
To think of how I let the best guy go
I don't want to meet jerks anymore.......

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Beauty beyond Words


Roses with their petals so pure
On the earth having so much to endure
Are actually the best organisms to lure
Individual's that can seem so immature
Who in life are not so sure
This is so because they're insecure
Many mistaken these magnificent creatures
As having only beautiful features
Not knowing that they can be inspiring teachers
Not just sitting around wasting their time on the bleachers
They know more than some well-known preachers
These roses are beautiful indeed
They can awe with just a simple seed
But deep down, there is more than that to read
There is more one should heed
These roses are like muslim sisters today
With their petals, Islam they display
With their stem, taqwa they can portray
With their leaves, Iman they beautifully sway
All these together will never dismay
Not everyone can simply walk away
Some wonder what they're trying to convey
Others walk sadly astray
But alhamdulilah they did their part that way
And together, they will show Islam as a bouquet
For every rose one simple advice
We know Islam has no vise
And that shaytan can sometimes make us think twice
So hold on to the earth just nice
And other sisters we will entice
We'll show them the rose and its awe-striking device
And to the ummah we will suffice