Today my heart broke
At first I laughed
Amused at the thought
Bewildered at the joke
How can sincerity result in this heart stroke?
My emotions became this unbearable smoke
My words and thoughts made me choke
My heart’s verses of love no longer spoke
Through this broken heart I did create
Unable to read the signs
Where reality and dream never did conjugate
I awaited his undying claim to my name
To my revitalizing fame of a dazzling dame
I was to be his aim, igniting his heart’s flame
See, although this never did happen with him and I
I did not let my heart cry
Nor my thoughts die
Nor moments surface into just what he meant
It was deeper
See, I did not blame his not coming into reality of my reality of dreams
I did not blame him for his inability to feel what I feel
I was the one being real
He was just blinded by people and women who spoke the speech
Sang the song
I was just real
I was the real deal
His satisfying love meal
I did not blame him
Then my heart broke
My walk lost its steady gait
My dreams no longer wrote my fate
Sincere thoughts, wishes and prayers
Would not, as thought, deduce my soul mate
My thoughts were an array of confusion
I still thought of us as one
Holding on to the unshaken illusion
As we walked in my perfect delusion
Of lust, love, infatuation
I locked my own heart, barricaded it to seclusion
Secluded anyone that might proclaim their love for me
Because I was constructing the thought of my happily
Secluded it to any moment that might show he felt for me otherwise
I took those moments and dressed it up in a disguise
Of true love for me, where I created the truthful lies
And made his love rise
And again, when reality came to demise my tries of my love’s guise
I would revise, raise my hands to the skies
Hoping that it is not indeed my lies
Even through the broken heart
My heart held on to its once romantic conclusion
Through this remarkably constructed illusion
And my heart… in it’s seclusion
Holding on with every vein
Blinded to the beating heart’s pain
I wrote my own love letters
Drank two cups of halal champagne
Today, my heart broke
Still seems like a joke
I’m trying to listen to my heart
It’s once lust, love, infatuation was a riot
But now it’s quiet
Silenced by the thought of never
Ever
The thought of never, forever
I still hear it beating though
Quiet, relenting, soft, and slow
Almost like it’s taking in the moment of this blow
Of what it did already know
The equation of him and I that would never occur like so
See, I was suppose to run in a field of roses
Into his arms of utter love for me
Him I do not blame
My heart was not used as a game
It was just regarded as the same
As any other lady that did claim, their undying love for him
Why was that an even harder pain?
Dear heart
Of mine
Do not fall apart
Things will be fine
Allah(SWT) has already ordained it all
This is where we were ordained to fall
And call
Upon the one who has written it all
Perhaps, if our call is as sincere as the feelings that proceeded such a blow
I believe
I know
Allah(SWT) will help us use this moment to grow
I believe
I know
Today, my heart spoke
After a deep slumber of pain
It awoke
“I believe, I know”
It said softly
And I felt tranquility flow
“I believe, I know”
