My Everything

Everything
I hold so dearly
Love so intensely
Adore with my eyes
Enter into my heart
Cr addle in my arms

Everything, I
Sing
Hear
Smile
Enjoy

Everything
That makes
Breathing so much easier
Laughing enjoyable
Fun entertaining
Rainy days, comfortable
Bad hair days, livable

Everything
That defines
Content in my eyes
Peace in dreams
Beautiful moments
Intelligent conversations

I find them
I hug them with my love
I kiss them with my heart
I smile at them with my words
I tear with my longing
I enjoy with every breath

But then
I lose them
so fast
It hurts
It becomes hard to hold
moments bold
heart gone cold

It is hard not to believe
I am to blame
I was too lame
It was all a game
they are all the same

It is hard to look past
it all

Sometimes
I still hear my heart
Calling them
My mind
Shutting them away

Oh mind,
how you try to protect the heart
But at a loss of words and rational
I choose to love and not forget
As they leave and not forgive
And so mind, you try to give
A reason that will have me stand
Firm, able to feel
Able to touch hearts, minds and hands

But I still hear my heart
Calling their name
Then it hurts all over again
The memories all rush in
And i stay
Flooded, by my own thoughts
Betrayed by my own mind
Which stands aside
As I ride
The memories of life
of love, living and strife

Because everything
Is nothing
without something
And tomorrow, another something will come
To join everything I ever knew
Everything I thought I met
And everything will be vast
But with that
I can live
At last

As i wait for more
somethings
To become
my everything
This way
I can't lose everything

Hurt Again

In the mid of the night
With no one in sight
I said it
My lips quivering
Heart trembling
Tongue moving
I said
What my heart desired
Or so I thought
And so i fired
Words that only encompassed a moments pain
Hoping it would seize and happiness would reign
And so I spat
Dictation for the ideal
And as surreal as the supplication ran
I said the words and developed a plan
And then He(SWT) Planned
I stood alone again
In pain again
It hurt again
It wasn’t ideal again

I know this as a cycle
Of hurt and call upon Him
But sometimes it get’s so dim
Darkness hovering over my dreams
With every success comes another test it seems
Testing our belief in the unseen
So enjoy every moment and keep it clean
Because dirt hurts, you and your deen

So, I stand alone again
In the middle of the cycle again
My iman tested.............and I feel I need to recharge again
Read, learn, feel again
Those were once so easy
Every breath of iman breezy
Now it’s harder to breath it in
Harder to feel it in
But for some odd reason
My eyes still tear
Almost in fear
It would not reach my heart
Torn apart
Trying to remind it to feel
Make a deal
To read the words of the Most High
And as tears roll from my eyes
Dear heart, try to cry
Yearn for iman
Don’t live dry
Because in the end, after all these tests, you will die
The only thing that will save you, is that tear you cried
Yearning for iman
Because every time you fell
You tried
Every time you felt like running
You didn’t hide
And so He(SWT) will plan
As supplication ran
Into every occasion
and
You cried.
From inside.
And out.