Hurt Again

In the mid of the night
With no one in sight
I said it
My lips quivering
Heart trembling
Tongue moving
I said
What my heart desired
Or so I thought
And so i fired
Words that only encompassed a moments pain
Hoping it would seize and happiness would reign
And so I spat
Dictation for the ideal
And as surreal as the supplication ran
I said the words and developed a plan
And then He(SWT) Planned
I stood alone again
In pain again
It hurt again
It wasn’t ideal again

I know this as a cycle
Of hurt and call upon Him
But sometimes it get’s so dim
Darkness hovering over my dreams
With every success comes another test it seems
Testing our belief in the unseen
So enjoy every moment and keep it clean
Because dirt hurts, you and your deen

So, I stand alone again
In the middle of the cycle again
My iman tested.............and I feel I need to recharge again
Read, learn, feel again
Those were once so easy
Every breath of iman breezy
Now it’s harder to breath it in
Harder to feel it in
But for some odd reason
My eyes still tear
Almost in fear
It would not reach my heart
Torn apart
Trying to remind it to feel
Make a deal
To read the words of the Most High
And as tears roll from my eyes
Dear heart, try to cry
Yearn for iman
Don’t live dry
Because in the end, after all these tests, you will die
The only thing that will save you, is that tear you cried
Yearning for iman
Because every time you fell
You tried
Every time you felt like running
You didn’t hide
And so He(SWT) will plan
As supplication ran
Into every occasion
and
You cried.
From inside.
And out.